Slowly but surely the numbers throwing their hats into the ring for the tarnished but still faintly glittering prize of the Labour Party leadership are creeping up
Soon it may reach a magnificent seven …
And that has got me thinking – well, yes, something has to – about how strikingly similar these candidates are to the characters from that iconic movie.
We can see favourite Dave Miliband as leader ‘Chris’; although he has more hair than Yul Brynner (at the moment) he does share a slightly exotic foreign background.
Diane Abbott could fill in for Horst Buchholz as ‘Chico’. Its not that she is suitably dusky, it more like as it turned out for Buchholz her best days are probably behind her before she ever got going.
We can be sure that Ed Balls fancies himself as Charles Bronson playing rugged ‘Bernado’, though many will think that his decision to stand will turn out to be a death wish.
John McDonnell could pass for James Coburn as ‘Britt’, (well at least in his later years) and there is nothing McDonnell would like better than to throw his knife into the heart of New Labour.
Ed Miliband could play the Robert Vaughan part, ‘Lee’. He is of course fresh from playing the man from uncle Gordon and he shares the same thick mane of glossy hair; but we must hope he does not end his career playing a con man.
Finally there is , err, Andy Burnham. He must be a shoo in for ‘Harry Luck’, played by … by … yes … you know, that bloke whose name no one ever remembers.
Sadly, sadly, sadly, there is no name on the ballot paper with any charisma, with any star quality. No one with box office. None of the contenders does ‘cool’. No one likely to lead Labour to a great escape.
As we all know, Labour’s answer to Steve McQueen rode off into the sunset in 2007, well in fact unceremoniously railroaded onto the last stagecoach out of town by the only man in politics fit to match the incomparable Eli Walach in playing the evil leering sneering sociopath ‘Calvera’.